Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Here we are in California. Washington so far is the team to cheer for if you are an Oiler fan according to our extremely nuanced rating system which uses mathematics, physics and marine biology. Science! And math!
ex Oilers - 10 - oh the ex Oiler factor is strong here. We have the wonderful Shawn Horcoff who was a tremendous two way centre who cashed in and then got blamed for cashing in. Horc is probably done after this spring and he hasn't dressed yet :( but here is hoping Boudreau gets him in there. Don't want to see Horc coming down the tunnel in full gear after the buzzer goes. Awkward!
And there is Cogliano, who the Oilers could not figure out/get through to so they gave on him. Development! Now he plays an important role on one of the best teams in the league. Well done.
And finally there is David Perron, who was one of my favourites in his brief time as an Oiler. A terrific player who called management on their 'quality' handling of certain unnamed golden boys and who got shipped out of town immediately because of it. He's no dummy!
players - 6 - this would be way higher but fuck Kesler and fuck Bieska too, I am sure if the Ducks face the Blues he will seek out Paajarvi and go after him again, he's such a tough guy. He will go after Paajarvi and Kesler will go after Fabbri.
I hope Kesler wakes up at night and realizes that one of the reasons the refs let the Bruins goon the Canucks all series long back in 2011 was because he and Burrows are such garbage. Good job you fucking weiner.
franchise - 3 - the team is named after a Disney movie which has nothing to do with real hockey from the ~ 3 minutes I have watched of it. And they just won a Cup less than a decade ago. So BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
ex Oilers - 0 - there are none
players - 4 - you've got a couple of classic oldsters in Mike Fisher and Barret Jackman. Kudos for still being in the league at 35! And Shea Weber is pretty cool. But on the other hand Mike Ribiero and Eric Nystrom. I feel dirty cheering for them.
franchise - 2 - I know the fans are great and it's supposed to be a great place to see a game but what can I say, I don't like any of these Bettman teams. Fold them all, I say!
ex Oilers - 3 - Matt Greene is still there and I love the guy but he is on IR and has won two Cups already
players - 2 - much like Chicago the Kings are full of players who have won at least a Cup and in many cases two. LeCavalier winning again would be pretty cool I guess. But then again there is Dustin Brown who is a poor man's Shane Doan if Doan was a diver. Fuck Dustin Brown.
franchise - 3 - much like the Hawks this would be way up the scale except they have won Cups two of the last four years. I respect the excellence (and love Darryl Sutter) but there is no suffering here..
ex Oilers - 0 - none here, too bad :(
players - 10 - seriously, where do I start. James Reimer is a prince of a man. Brent Burns has more personality in his beard than ninety percent of the players in the league. Patty Marleau is super awkward and super awesome. Joel Ward is beloved from his days on PEI, there is not an Islander who has a bad thing to say about him.
And Joe Thornton? If he wins the Cup I'm whipping out my cock.
franchise - 8 - yeah they haven't been around as long as the Blues or the Capitals but they came into the league with a bang and have really been a factor for quite a while. There isn't forty years of suffering but they have been top notch for a decade and somehow they haven't won the big one. Always very good but never the best. If they won I think it would be super cool.
And so for our final standings!!!!!
San Jose - 36
Washington - 35
Dallas - 32
Anaheim - 28
Philadelphia - 28
St. Louis Blose - 26
Florida - 24
New York Rangers - 22
New York Islanders - 22
Tampa - 18
Minnesota - 18
Pittsburgh - 16
Detroit - 16
Chicago - 15
Los Angeles - 13
Nashville - 12
So there you have it Oiler fans, if Hemsky or Horcoff were on other teams those squads would probably be who I would cheer for (and certainly if Dallas or the Ducks win I will be very excited for the ex Oilers) but I am hoping for San Jose / Washington in the final with Jumbo Joe winning by a knob.
Posted by Black Dog at 7:49 PM